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“We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.” —Winston Churchill

mary’zine #1-77

(see below for Painting for Process: a Philosophy, a Process, a Life)

#1: February 2000: Y2k; Preparing for the earthquake; Adventure Day; Story looking for an ending

#2: March 2000: Animal lover; The Pookie chronicles (Judgment day; Pet ER)

#3: April 2000: The autobiography of my mother

#4: May 2000: Déjà vu all over again; The parsley epiphany

#5: June 2000: On hearing Robert Pinsky, poet laureate, read his poem “To Television” on television; Swelled head [death, dreams]

#6: “In what universe is caffeine not a drug?”; “Making a cup of green tea, I stop the war”; Parallel what?

#7: September 2000: Healing, anger, travel, Mom

#8: Oct./Nov. 2000: The trip of the century; Big dyke with a blue head

#9: December 2000: Impersonal letters worse than none; Ferry tale; The heart of creation

#10: January 2001: Mary’s first porno; Just one; Pookie’s Christmas

#11 pt1: February 2001: Sex, shame, and videotape; Lost weekday

#11 pt2: February 2001: I was a teenage beatnik wannabe

#12: March 2001: Pookie’s higher self; God spelled backwards; Birdsong

#13: April 2001: Desire → illusion → intimacy → passion

#14: May 2001: PTSD; Laughterbation; White like me

#15: June 2001: SUVs, arrogance, temptation, spiders, cosmic analogies, bike riders, redemption; Opposite of the Life Force; Pookie sleeps around

#16: July 2001: Red, white, and bah humbug; Off to see the wizard; Feng shui this

#17: September/October 2001: Life goes on within us and without us; My life with mare—a work in progress

#18: November 2001: Pookie, HRH; Living in the ground ‘00s; America freaks out; Floating down de Nile; Chat mysterieux

#19: December 2001: [Wartime edition]

#20: January 2002: World’s funniest ‘zine; Cell phones, Xmas, family scare; Painting; Alice radio

#21: February 2002: The Long’s way home; Fan mail from some flounder

#22: March/April/May/June: Therapy/vitamin Z; 7 days in May (painting)

#23: July/August 2002: Longtime companion; The genius of me; War with…huh?; The rough beast returns (Todd Gitlin)

#24: October 2002: Life, death, guilt, redemption, the F word, etc.; Dramatis personae; The grand tour; The funeral; Family—no longer the F word

#25: December 2002: Play tell (rap attack); Barb’s e’s; Boomer nation

#26: January 2003: Merry lu’s holidaze; [Xmas] [painting/J]; Heavy petting; Jump around! jump around, jump up and get down!

#27: March 2003: A winter’s tale (or two); Fan mail from some frozen flounder; Working on my (t)issues in therapy

#28: April 2003:  [The U.P. Gazette & War Times]; Ye olde mailbaggie; U.P. party; War {What war??} Times; My own private Vietnam

#29: Summer 2003: Didn’t expect a miracle; Back from a future; Surreal I can taste it; Every day packjam; Back to a future; Home again; Home again?

#30: Summer/Fall/Winter/Spring/Summer/Fall 2003-2004: Beware…; A new life; 2,000 miles I roam…

#31: February 2005: I left my heart…; Mary’s first Christmas with snow… [lots of fall down go boom]

#32: May 2005: Peaceable kingdom; Fantasia; On the fault line; In the mix

#33: Summer 2005: Pookie’s seizures; Baby robins; Home girl; Welcome to the dollhouse; July 4; The grand-nieces; The flagpole of now

#34: Winter 2006: R.I.P. Pookie; A tale of two kitties; Pookie’s good-bye; The obligatory cute cat stories; I paint, therefore…?; The U.P. in the media; Faulty remembrance of things past

#35: September 2008: I’m back!; Guys around the house; Going nuclear

#36: March 2009: The snow issue; Fri fam fun LOL

#37: April 2009: More dental work; Twitter me shimbers!; Family circus; Pronouns, pro-verbs; Class

#38: May/June 2009: Jetsam, dreams, painting, death, the almighty $; The stuff of memory; Some jog, some blog; Condo made of stone-a; Epilog: Milk and more

#39: August 2009: 4 stages, and counting; And yet… laff riots; The mitigated gall; Your lying eyes; “More than kin and less than kind”

#40: September 2009: If you don’t remember the ’60s; Thought experiment; OMG, LMAO, TMI; Truth takes another drubbing

#41: December 2009:  Salad; The micro world; The Friday report; The ever-present past; Thanksgrudging

#42: January 2010: Snow banks too big to fail; This little piggy went to S.F.; Intensive care; This little piggy went oui oui oui all the way home; Addendum

#43: March 2010: Makes you wanna holler!; Home-moanership; Old folks’ night out; Google me Elmo; Fonda Fond du Lac

#44: June 2010: The big family issue!

#45: July 2010: Summer, winter, Christian BBQ; More news of the pious; Rescue me?; Speaking of time/space… and other continuums; If a bat mitzvah is a coming of age, applying for Social Security must be a going of age; What my sister did for me (Blue Jesus); Marriage on stilts (pix)

#46: September 2010: My body, my selves; Back to my body; Tech-no-no-how

#47: November 2010: Birthday girl; Poem; My body, my (plunged, prodded, and poked) self

#48: January 2011: To San Francisco and partway back; Forget the journey, here’s where I talk about the destination; “I hear the paint falling…”; An intruder in our midst

#49: April/May 2011: If I had a hammer; But first… say good-bye to winter; Poem; You don’t need a weatherman…; Changes in l’attitude; Life is short: eat the Doritos first; Finally—family fun!

#50: July 2011: [Silence, death, speculation]; Bird bath and beyond; Wild thing; Update on the folks; [Who IS the gorilla?]

#51: September 2011: Ode to Michigan; Poem by Bob Hicok; Friday night light; Inhabiting my life; The scariest F word (Future); Nude Niagara Falls; “Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours a day…”

#52: November 2011: Lake Superior; SOS; Patient does not wish to share…; [my reading, writing, and editing life]; [photos of Lake Superior, Green Bay, cute cat, Oregon]

#53: January 2012: Painting; flying

#54: March 2012: Painting letters; Who paints?; Painting my father; ‘Nam like me; To hell and back, computer-style; News from social media

#55: June 2012: Painting intensive; “Odd, dark beauty”; if x = G + U, where G = God and U = Unknown, then solve for x

#56: July 2012: Girlhood/personhood; Fractured family

#57: September 2012: Mark Twain quote; the Wisdom of Deadwood; Time; After life; Lies & metaphors; When bad things happen to good kitties; If you fall, I’ll be there; Time, memory, “I”; Some gratuitous images from the interwebs

#58: October 2012: Winter pic; Baby pic; Long day’s journey into Neenah; The local nooz; I paint, I am, do I dare say “therefore”?; New doctor; Hard times; I finally got to sit outside on my back porch…

#59: November 2012: [contact] Fear; “Ars Poetica”

#60: [painting intensive] [travel] On driving in the city; My painting; Good times; The love offerings; The final push; Menominee North Pier Lighthouse (photos)

#61: April 2013: Let’s start… with a body part; Something is happening here; My beggar

#62: June 2013: “The Difference”; 7 days; The lighter side!

#63: September 2013: My way no highway; Only God can take a tree; [animals] [my health] More odds, more ends; All’s well that ends

#64: November 2013: [cat room] [metaphysical speculation] Love is a higher organizing principle than time, but its organization is hidden; The requisite cat tales; From the sacred to the deeply philosophical; My “diz-zies”; What nightmares are made of; “The Tent”

#65: February 2014: Adventure time; Close encounters with the martinets of the airways; The body abides; Lez iz more

#66: Winter wrap-up; Seeds of gratitude [poem]; Strung out on epiphanies; Love, everywhere; And sometimes… love hurts

#67: Love

#68: Hot-blooded; On being gay

#69: Daddy’s girl; 2 poems by John Fox

#70: “The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.” —Emily Dickinson

#71: Saga d’amour conclut; Requiem for a mad, mad, mad, mad love

xxx[Special post] “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” by T.S. Eliot, page 12 (art by Julian Peters)

xxx[Special post] “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” by T.S. Eliot, page 13 (art by Julian Peters)

#72: “I was born, obviously”; New Year thoughts; Stilt-walking; My all-time favorite explanation for what’s happening in the world; Childhood; San Francisco —> home;  Painting; Men

xxx[Special post] “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” by T.S. Eliot, page 14 (art by Julian Peters)

xxx[Special post] “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” by T.S. Eliot, page 15 (art by Julian Peters)

xxx[Special post] “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” by T.S. Eliot, page 16 (art by Julian Peters)

xxx[Special post] “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” by T.S. Eliot, page 17 (art by Julian Peters)

xxx[Special post] “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” by T.S. Eliot, page 18 (art by Julian Peters)

xxx[Special post] “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” by T.S. Eliot, page 19 (art by Julian Peters)

[Guest contribution] Climbing Mt. Etna

#73: Kola Superdeep Borehole

#74: My gay Friday

#75: In-tens-ity; Loss; An interlocutor; Painting; Insights

#76:

#77:

 

••• the best of the mary’zine that never made it to print •••

#1: The art of housekeeping

#2: Sodden thawts

#3: hi-tek lo-blo lim-bo

#4: frumpy, funky, and fried…

#5: Society column

 

Gratuitous bear picture.